Last week, I sat and watched R&B week on American Idol, with superstar Usher as the mentor. His advice was actually quite constructive (maybe his work with Justin Bieber helped) and, with another group of contestants, it would have resulted in some extraordinary performances.
But this isn't another group, now is it?
Yet, it wouldn't be fair to blame the reality show juggernaut's flailing season on the overall weak contestants. No, American Idol, once considered the most powerful show on television, has eroded into a decaying farce guaranteed to collapse the minute Cowell bids it adieu for the US version of The X Factor.
While this season was certainly the straw that broke the camel's back, it was last season and the months following that revealed the holes in the battleship.
In a move that still boggles the mind, the producers added a fourth judge in the form of Kara DioGuardi, a noted songwriter responsible for hits from many major pop/rock stars, including inaugural AI winner Kelly Clarkson. While Paula Abdul insisted there was no conflict between the two women, everyone knew why Kara was brought on. It was a message from the producers to Paula that if need be, she was replaceable.
It turns out that wasn't the case.
Kara's first run on the show was lukewarmly received at best. Her addition was seen as an unnecessary disruption to the chemistry of the three original judges. She was also responsible for the worst coronation single in the show's history, "No Boundaries". Both versions by winner Kris Allen and runner-up Adam Lambert were flops, and even former producer Nigel Lythgoe declared it the "only downside" of the show's finale. Speaking of the finale, Kara participated in an embarrassing display of upstaging with the infamous "Bikini Girl", showing off her own bikini body.
Despite a largely underwhelming freshman run, Kara was brought back for a second year, while the beloved Paula was ousted over a contract dispute. In her place was Hollywood's resident funny lady Ellen Degeneres, who had hosted several American Idol contestants after their elimination. Other than that and her obvious love of music, there was really no other reason for her hiring over more qualified people (Shania Twain comes to mind). Before she was chosen, there were a flurry of guest judges over the audition process. Some were good (the aforementioned Shania, Mary J. Blige, Katy Perry, and surprisingly Neil Patrick Harris) and some just didn't make sense (Joe Jonas, Posh Spice, and honestly, Neil Patrick Harris).
If the judging process wasn't enough to show the chinks in Idol's previously impervious armor, then Simon Cowell's bombshell announcement that he was quitting did the job. He announced before the start of the season that he signed a deal with FOX to help the American version of the popular UK program The X Factor, the show responsible for Leona Lewis. With Simon being one foot out the door already, it made people question how American Idol would fair this season.
We now know the answer: not well, at all.
For the first time, the show has no real breakout contestant. In a post-Sanjaya world, you would think that there would at least be a shockingly terrible contestant who slipped through the cracks to entertain us. Somehow, every contestant, some competent, some not, is pretty boring. One of the best male vocalists, Lee, has the personality of a wet mop. Tim Urban, who committed song murder with Anita Baker's "Sweet Love", is nothing more than eye candy for the ladies. Siobhan screams a lot, although well. Bowersox, who might as well just take the crown now, will doubtfully see mainstream success. Aaron is a poor man's David Archuleta. Mike is Ruben reincarnated. Katie is the show's Miley Cyrus, just with a lot less charisma (note: this may be the first time I've every complimented Miley on this blog). And the others aren't good enough to actually remember. Never before in as AI season have I been so disinterested by the fate of the contestants we're supposed to be thoroughly invested in.
But as I said before, it's not all their fault.
The judge's performances, which are just as important as the contestant's, has been appalling compared to previous seasons. Never before has the advice given been so inconsistent, and in some cases just plain wrong. Even though Ellen is trying her best, Paula's quirky brand of enthusiastic support and genuine perspective is sorely missed. Following the tepid success of some previous winners, the judges are pushing the "artist" notion harder and harder, resulting in some advice that is clearly screwing up the contestants. Take Katie, who Simon and Kara have been fighting over for weeks, trying to figure out whether she's pop or country. What the judges don't realize is that this artistry thing is kind of pointless, since every week is a new theme that is likely unrelated to their own personal style. While some have navigated pretty well (by some, I mean Crystal), others are so inept in song choice that flounder around helplessly on stage (or just slide around on the floor, right Tim?).
Then there is Ryan Seacrest. I'll be frank; I have never liked the guy that much. He is probably the hardest-working man in showbusiness, which I'll give him credit for, but his continual ubiquitousness with everything pop culture has been really grating. This season, he has been bringing that to the show, talking longer with the contestants, almost trying to delve into their psyche. He took it to a whole different level of awkward with Didi last week as he relentlessly pressed the emotional contestant as to why she chose "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted". Condemnations on Twitter immediately followed. The most irritating part of his new hosting style is how he openly challenges the judges' critiques, going as far as to get into Simon's face over one contestant. Whether he's aiming for Simon's seat is unknown, but Ryan, being the host, should keep his distance. It's a blatant overstep of his duties, and it's really, really annoying.
American Idol has had astronomical success since the summor of 2002, when Kelly took the crown and went on to become a pop princess. The show has given us plenty of gifted, successful talent such as Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, and Chris Daughtry. it has also given us a lot of watercooler talk, like the red state/blue state controversy last year with Adam and Kris and Hurricane Sanjaya. Unfortunately, it appears the show has finally reached the end of its relevancy. With decreasing sales and chart positions of its singers and its disarming ratings defeat by Dancing with the Stars, alongside the most boring season ever, it may be time to pack things up and make way for another show to find America's untapped talent, like the Simon-helmed X Factor. Of course, the show coulf continue without him for as long as possible, but it won't be the real Idol.
The real Idol, the Idol with Randy, Paula, and Simon finding the best of the best, is dead and buried.
