The Five Pokémon That Saved Pokémon Black and White [REVISED]

Now that all of the English names of the Pokémon have been revealed and the release of the games hit the ret of the world in the next two to three weeks, it's time to revise my choices of the five Pokémon that saved Black and White from being epic fails.

Here is the list.

Samurott (final evolution of Oshawott)
Type: Water
Reason Why It's Awesome: It is known as the Dignity Pokémon. Awesome. It carries a sword in the scales of its forelegs. Badass. It kind of reminds me of a Digimon who's name escapes me at the moment (if you know which one I am talking about, please let me know), but is better. Great. It is the coolest looking Water starter since Blastoise. Super awesome. I know who I'm choosing...




Zebstrika
Type: Electric
Reasons Why It's Awesome: I actually thought it was cool the first time I saw it. It's like an electric Rapidash, and Rapidash is pretty awesome. Still, I kind of wish it had a second type or something to add to it's potential epicness.



Krokorok
Type: Ground/Dark
Reason Why It's Awesome: Look at this Pokémon for a second. It had its arms crossed, it is smirking, and it is giving the most epic side-eye I have ever seen in my entire life. This Pokémon screams attitude like no other Pokémon ever (except maybe Serperior, the final evolution of Snivy) Regardless, this Pokémon just is too awesome to not own.




Jalorda (final evolution of Snivy)
Type: Grass
Reason Why It's Awesome: I love things that represent royalty. This Pokémon screams royalty from the rooftops. Plus, it's probably a lot bitchier than Waruvile is.


Zekrom
Type: Electric/Dragon
Reason Why's it's Awesome: Quite simply, he may be the most epic-looking legendary ever. He just screams, "I'm going to decimate you in five seconds flat."





Think a Pokémon from the new generation is awesome beyond words and it's missing? Think I'm wrong with some of these choices (or all of them)? Leave me a comment with your thoughts

Gaga's New Year's Announcement: Single In February, Album in May!

After a week of seemingly endless anticipation, Lady Gaga has revealed what her announcement was: it was the release dates of her new single and her Born This Way album.

The first single, which is still untitled, will be released on February 13th, the same day as the Grammys and her 60 Minutes interview with Anderson Cooper.

Born This Way will be released on May 23rd.

When I first saw these dates, I pretty much lost it. I mean, we have to wait for half the year to pass to hear what she considers the album of our generation? It sounded absurd. However, when you think about it, it does make sense, especially if she releases two singles prior to the album release, like Katy Perry did for Teenage Dream. Considering it's Gaga, she's basically guaranteeing two #1 singles for herself before she drops the album, which will most likely hit #1 as well.

Along with the release details, Gaga Twitpic'd this image, taken by Nick Knight, which is speculated to be the album cover artwork:

There's a pretty long wait ahead of us until Gaga's new music is heard? Are you excited for the Born This Way era?

The Five Black and White Pokemon That Still Suck (and the other five that suck too)

So yesterday I published a list of the five Pokemon that saved the new generation with their artwork, done by Ken Sugimori. Unfortunately, not all of them could work as well as them. Some of them, actually a lot of them, suck as bas their sprites suggested. These are the five of them that are such epic fails that I actually wonder if the creators were smoking some kind of something.


Baibanira
Type: Ice
Reason Why It Sucks: It's an ice cream cone. That's it. It is a freaking ice cream cone! Seriously, though?






Kyurem
Type: Dragon/Ice
Reason Why It's Sucks: It's typing may be awesome, but it looks like a lazy interpretation of Pokemon we've seen before.



Dasutodasu
Type: Poison
Reason Why It's Sucks: It looks like a muddy, dirty fail version of Tangela. And guess what, Tangela sucked too.



Morobareru
Type: Grass/Poison
Reason Why It's Sucks: A Pokemon that looks like a Pokeball? Yes, they did it with Voltorb, but Voltorb was a badass. This is just, no.

The Three Elemental Monkeys
Types: Grass, Fire, and Water
Reasons Why They Suck: I decided to loop them all together since they are basically the same Pokemon. These three break the cardinal rule of Pokemon evolution: if you are going to evolve from a cute Pokemon, you either need to be extra cute, or incredibly awesome. None of these Pokemon are either of those things, which make them absolute wastes of space.

Are there any Pokémon from the new generation missing from here that you think suck? You think I'm wrong? Leave me your thoughts!

My Favorite Picture of 2010: Drake Trying to Eat Lady Gaga's Meat Purse at the VMAs

Just reading the title conjured up some of the dirtiest (and highly unlikely) innuendos in my head.

But I literally mean Drake was trying to eat Lady Gaga's purse made of meat at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards. The rapper, who was sitting behind the pop phenom, moved forward with jaws wide open, ready to take a chomp out of her bag, while she had a smile-smirk plastered on her face.

Is this possibly a hilarious and disgusting passing of the torch, since Drake is currently in the lead for Artist of the Year at the 2010 BWU Awards, an award Gaga won last year?

You guys decide: voting ends next Friday!

Until then, enjoy my favorite picture of the year!

An apparently hungry Drake attempts to feast on Gaga's bovine accessory

Miley Cyrus MegaRant: Perez Hilton in Upskirt Photo Uproar and She Says "I'm Not Trying to Be Slutty"

A lot of Miley news out there, most of it ridiculous, but I figured it deserved some notice.

First off, Perez Hilton has really put his foot in it this time.

The gossip blogger has incited an uproar after he posted a picture of Miley Cyrus getting out of car and accidentally flashing her naked crotch. Besides being ridiculously inappropriate, there are legal ramifications, since Miley is only 17 years old, which would mean the photo can be considered child pornography.

The self-proclaimed (and falsely proclaimed) Queen of All Media posted a video on his popular website as an official statement about the picture, which he took down quickly after putting it up. In the video, Perez uses the "would I be that stupid" argument to explain his actions. He also uses it for Miley, claiming she wouldn't be so stupid to walk out the house without underwear on, and that her underwear can be clearly seen in another paparazzi photo.

It really was a non-apology, since Perez employed ridiculous amounts of sarcasm, even teasing a possible nude crotch shot of himself while wearing a fake fur coat.

In the video, he asks if he would be so stupid to post these photos up.

Um, yes he would.

This is the same guy who stupidly called will.i.am a faggot, resulting in him getting socked in the face. He also stupidly accused Michael Jackson of faking his heart attack to get out of his tour, minutes before the King of Pop died.

So, yes Perez, you would be that stupid.

He also claimed that he loved Miley Cyrus. That's funny, since he makes a big, fun day out of calling her virtually every name in the book, including the crown jewel, "Slutty Cyrus".

Give me a break.

Speaking of being slutty, Miley (who hasn't commented on the Perez situation) recently explained her new raunchy image with this quote:

"I'm not trying to be slutty. I'm not trying to be like, go to the club and get a bunch of guys...What I'm trying to do is make a point with my record and be consistent, in the way my record sounds and the way that I dress".

Newsflash, Miley. Yes, you are trying to be slutty!

While her album is called "Can't Be Tamed", I can't imagine anything on the album that requires her to look like a Britney wannabe on the cover, have a sexless bird orgy in the video, have a faux-makeout session with another girl on Britain's Got Talent, and ride a pole on top of an ice cream truck at the Teen Choice Awards. It's absolutely absurd, and terribly transparent. She is trying to garner attention for herself and break the Hannah Montana image that has made her millions of dollars.

It's not the first time she has made a statement like this one. Just recently, Miley said that she doesn't listen to pop music, except for Lady Gaga. Another newsflash, Miley. You make pop music! You've called Britney and Beyoncé your idols, and they make pop music!

This girl needs a reality check about her career, before she heads down the path paved by Lohan.

MegaRant, over.

In Case You Didn't Know, Kylie's "All The Lovers" Is The Year's Best Single You Haven't Heard In Full

A good portion of Kylie Minogue's upcoming single "All The Lovers" was leaked in ridiculously low quality today. Despite the LQ, it is clear that this song may just be one of the year's best.

And hopefully the song that will finally break her sexy ass into America.

Here is the clip:



And, as a treat, here is a picture of Kylie filming the video in LA:


 Epic.

WORST: Houston, What's The Problem? Whitney's Concert Disasters

Whitney, what's wrong?

Pop legend Whitney Houston may not be on drugs anymore, but the weight they carried clearly hasn't lifted.

The singer, currently embarking on a world tour supporting her successful comeback album I Look To You, is facing intense criticism from fans and the press after a string of lackluster, if not outright terrible, performances.

Her latest concert, at London's O2 Arena, was apparently so terrible that some fans walked out of the show after only twenty minutes, even though some paid up to $156 for tickets. Whitney, who was diagnosed with a respiratory infection, struggled to hit the famous high notes in songs like "I Will Always Love You". She wasn't able to finish her classic hit "Greatest Love of All", stopping after a few verses, according to reports. She blamed her vocal issues on the air conditioning, and even referred to her powerful pipes as being "temperamental".

Another major criticism was her appearance. The diva appeared haggard, bloated, and out of shape at the O2 Arena. It comes as a major surprise, since Whitney has been looking fantastic for most of the tour so far.

So, what's wrong with Whitney?

While she reportedly was hospitalized for a respiratory infection in Paris last month, criticisms of her vocal performance appeared long before then. The Australian leg of her tour was viciously attacked for what concert-goers considered terrible vocals. Her croaky voice has been blamed by her concert promoters on her smoking habits, while it also possible that the drug abuse in the last few years has left irreversible damage on her voice. Finally, she just may not have been physically ready to do such an extensive tour spanning Asia and Europe so far (no North American plans have been made).

I am a huge fan, and she can deny it as much as she wants, but there is clearly something wrong in the world of Whitney. Let's just hope she can fix it before her comeback is officially tarnished.

If You Thought Heidi Montag's Face Couldn't Get Any Worse...

I normally avoid writing about anything related to "banes-of-pop-culture" Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, but I simply couldn't ignore this.

In fact, if my roommate wasn't sleeping right now, I probably would have either gasped loudly in shock or thrown up a little bit.

This is a new picture of Heidi, post-surgery, at the Pure nightclub on Valentine's Day:



And just in case you argue it's a bad angle, here's another one:


For the first time, I actually feel really bad for Heidi Montag. She must've had self-esteem issues up the freakin' wazoo to allow this obscene level of monstrosity to be carried out on herself. It also doesn't help having a douchebad of a husband not telling you what you are doing makes no sense. While I was never a fan of hers, she was a beautiful girl, just a few months ago. Now, she looks like someone who should be on Real Housewives or something. Hell, Kim Zolciak from Real Housewives of Atlanta looks both younger and prettier than Heidi now.

What a shame...

P.S. Here's one more for good measure:

Hot Mess Alert! Katie Price and Her Cagefighting Boyfriend Celebrate Halloween

I have been wanting to write about Katie Price for months now, but I just didn't have the motivation.

Until I saw this.

This is UK's premier trainwreck Katie Price, aka Jordan, dressed up for Halloween with her boyfriend Alex Reid. In case you are unaware, or don't really care, he is the cross-dressing, rape-porn acting cage fighter that Katie has been parading around since her ridiculous divorce for Australian pop singer Peter Andre.

Note that Katie has three children.

 

UNBELIEVABLE! More Sensational Pictures of Tween Father Alfie Patten

The Sun published more pictures of 13-year old Alfie Patten in today's edition, and here they are!

The best of them all....the underage family playing Playstation!

15-year old mother Chantelle with her own mother

NOTE: Photo credit goes to The Sun newspaper and News Group Newspaper Limited. Visit the website at thesun.co.uk.