Some Notes About New Moon...

Last weekend, I went with my friends to go see New Moon. The movie theater was PACKED, for that film alone, so I figured it would be a movie worth seeing. After mulling it over for a week, here are some thoughts about the film:

About 65% of New Moon was about someone staring. Whether it was Edward at Bella, Bella at Edward, Jacob at Bella, Bella out of a window, a lot of the film was them all just staring. In case you didn't know, staring does not a good film make.

For a 17-year old, Taylor Lautner is ripped as fuck. It's an appropriate note to make, since 70% of the movie featured him shirtless. I'm being much more respectful than the multitude of girls (and some boys) whose tongues were hitting the floor whenever he came on the screen, like he was a steak on a silver platter.

A fish flopping on dry land has more charisma than Kristen Stewart.

There wasn't enough of Alice Cullen in this film. Or Emmett. Or Rosalie. Or Esme. Or Jasper. Or Carlisle. In case you haven't figured it out, the Cullen family actually deserved some screen time. I mean, they are more interesting than Edward and Bella combined.

Michael Sheen (the head of the Volturi) and Dakota Fanning, in their 10 minute long scene, outperformed the rest of the cast by at least 65 miles.

Sorry Edward, but Bella is a complete crackhead (and there were scenes where she looked like one too) for not choosing Jacob. Come on, werewolf? Awesome.

The ending is a big WTF?

By the way, the film has no real discernible plot.

Final Note: Unless you either love Twilight or want to see a 17-year old being blatantly sexually exploited, you probably want to skip this film. Go see Precious instead.

Team Edward or Team Jacob? Newest New Moon Teaser Released!

I would warn against watching this clip if you are fans of Edward Cullen and/or Robert Pattinson.

A new teaser clip for the second Twilight movie New Moon has been released and it is all Jacob and Bella there. It is only 14 seconds but fans of that couple will surely be aching for more.

They'll get it when the movie is released in November.

Some Notes About Twilight...

If there is one pop culture phenomenon that has completely gone over my head, its the Twilight series. I never read the books, I never saw the movie, and I did not buy into the overnight celebrity and tabloid craze of its stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

Well, after months of befuddlement over the Twilight obsession, I decided to buckle down and watch the movie this past weekend. Without getting into a full movie review (it would be kind of pointless, since it came out last year), here are some things I noticed/gathered about this film:

- Even though, in real life, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (especially her) annoy the crap out of me, they actually have some chemistry on screen.

- That said, their characters Edward and Bella, are ridiculously dull, and I frankly cannot imagine how FOUR books were based around them.

- I understand that the book is 500 pages, so maybe it was lost in translation, but their love story is completely rushed. I mean, one minute he can't stand her, the next they're all awkward, and then they're head over heels? I know its primarily a teen book, but that is still too far out of the realm for anyone.

- The Cullen family scenes were my favorite scenes, especially the one where they first meet Bella at their amazing elevated house in the middle of nowhere. If the movie was based around them, and not Edward and Bella, I could've gotten into this movie a long time ago. I find Rosalie and Jasper the most interesting of the family.

- Another focus I would've preferred; the whole "vegetarian" aspect of the Cullen family's life. I mean, how did vampires find the self-control to not suck the blood of every single person at that stupid school? They alluded to it with the Edward/Bella story, but it wasn't enough.

- Another rushed thing was the whole tracker vampire thing with James. I didn't enjoy ANY of that part at all. There was virtually no buildup, and the whole "kill Bella to stick it to the Cullens" was shallow, at best.