Some Notes About New Moon...

Last weekend, I went with my friends to go see New Moon. The movie theater was PACKED, for that film alone, so I figured it would be a movie worth seeing. After mulling it over for a week, here are some thoughts about the film:

About 65% of New Moon was about someone staring. Whether it was Edward at Bella, Bella at Edward, Jacob at Bella, Bella out of a window, a lot of the film was them all just staring. In case you didn't know, staring does not a good film make.

For a 17-year old, Taylor Lautner is ripped as fuck. It's an appropriate note to make, since 70% of the movie featured him shirtless. I'm being much more respectful than the multitude of girls (and some boys) whose tongues were hitting the floor whenever he came on the screen, like he was a steak on a silver platter.

A fish flopping on dry land has more charisma than Kristen Stewart.

There wasn't enough of Alice Cullen in this film. Or Emmett. Or Rosalie. Or Esme. Or Jasper. Or Carlisle. In case you haven't figured it out, the Cullen family actually deserved some screen time. I mean, they are more interesting than Edward and Bella combined.

Michael Sheen (the head of the Volturi) and Dakota Fanning, in their 10 minute long scene, outperformed the rest of the cast by at least 65 miles.

Sorry Edward, but Bella is a complete crackhead (and there were scenes where she looked like one too) for not choosing Jacob. Come on, werewolf? Awesome.

The ending is a big WTF?

By the way, the film has no real discernible plot.

Final Note: Unless you either love Twilight or want to see a 17-year old being blatantly sexually exploited, you probably want to skip this film. Go see Precious instead.