Album Review: Kylie Minogue's Aphrodite

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Kylie revives pure pop with Aphrodite

When news first came out about Australian pop queen Kylie Minogue's new album came out, I was excited. Scratch that, I was ecstatic. Then "All The Lovers" was released, and I kind of completely lost my shit. For the next month or so, I have been impatiently waiting for her album to leak. After a megamix of six songs was released about three weeks ago, I was at the point of literally ripping my hair out in anticipation.

Well, it finally leaked, and my heart finally returned to normal rhythm. Until I started listening to the songs. It took me a while to fully conceive of what I was listening to, but I am finally ready to render my verdict.

Here is a track-by-track review of Aphrodite:

** Indicates a KEY TRACK

The first song also serves as the album's lead single, "All The Lovers"**. It was a hell of a single choice and an album opener, setting the tone for the whole CD. With it's ethereal, romantic, and slightly melancholic sound, Kylie's enchanting vocals, and that epic breakdown in the middle eight, it is easily the best record Kylie has put out since 2001's ubiquitous "Can't Get You Out of My Head". Rating: 10 out of 10.

If Kylie was begging her lover to dance into the fire in "All The Lovers", then "Get Outta My Way"** is her kicking him right into the flames and moving on. It is the most single-worthy track on the album, as well as being the most obvious one, thanks to it's bouncy energy reminiscent of "Love at First Sight" and "Wow". Actually, if those two songs had a baby and then the baby was pumped with steroids, this would be the result. And what an amazing love child it is. Rating: 10 out of 10.

If you haven't figured it out by now, Kylie's album is a big ole' bundle of joy, and "Put Your Hands Up (If You Feel Love)" is definitely the centerpiece of that message. It's in the title, for God's sake. This song leans a bit closer to "Love At First Sight" than the previous track, while frankly lacking all of the explosive energy. That said, it's a very synthy, very bouncy song that will make hard to keep your hands at your sides on the dancefloor. Rating: 8 out of 10

There are no ballads on Aphrodite, but Kylie does slow the tempo down a tad bit, starting with "Closer". It's an ominous, sensual, enchantingly robotic midtempo track about, well, bringing someone closer in. Kylie may want to offer masterclasses on how to use the vocal chords to seduce the listener, because there are quite a few pop stars who could use a lesson. Or, she could use her prowess to take over the world. Whichever is easier. Rating: 8 out of 10.

"Everything is Beautiful" is an appropriate title for this song, because next to "All The Lovers", it is the only other song I could label as beautiful. It's another midtempo song, but winds and grooves in a way that you might be inclined to take a nap in a bevy of clouds, before realizing that trying to do that would most certainly result in the ending of your life. Okay, so maybe the title is a bit misleading, but it is definitely a gorgeous track. Rating: 8 out of 10

"Can you feel me on the stereo?" Kylie sings throughout the title track "Aphrodite"**, and the answer is hell yes! This is a punchy pop anthem, driven by military-styled drums. Kylie warns us all that she is not one to be messed with, because she is, among other things, fearsome, mighty, a golden girl, and of course the Greek goddess of love. For all purposes, this is Kylie telling the younger girls that X does not mean she's down for the count, and that she runs this. I can't say I disagree. Rating: 9 out of 10.

Kylie is all confused and stuff about love on "Illusion", another closest-thing-to-a-ballad on the album. While not as driving as "Aphrodite", the beats on this song are still very strong, making it easy to groove to during a dance break (another thing you might not have realized yet; this album will be the playlist for all the clubs come July 6th). It's pleasant, sure, but there isn't much else to say about it. One of the weak points of the record. Of course, that isn't saying a lot. Rating: 7 out of 10.

"Better Than Today" is the album's most unexpected track on the record. Musically, it doesn't really sound like anything else, but it has the happy message and everything. It's a very positive song that seems to borrow it's style from Madonna's "Don't Tell Me". It's surprisingly laid-back guitar-styled for a glittery pop princess, but you can't blamed the girl for trying something new (let's just forget about Impossible Princess, ok?). Rating: 7.5 out of 10

The all-out dancing starts again with the irresistible, irrepressible, pop tornado called "Too Much"**. The song is the much-hyped collaboration with Calvin Harris, and the results were extremely successful. With it's bright and shiny production, outlined with some dark, sizzling electro buzzes, you have to be moving when this song comes on. If you can't even get a toe tapping, you might want to head to a doctor because you might be dead. Rating: 10 out of 10.

"Cupid Boy" is an enigma to me. For one, it has cutesy Kylie (which should really be an oxymoron) on full display, yet there is something about the production that screams dirty, like make out session in the darker end of the club, dirty. It's also kind of odd to be directly after "Too Much", which was such a dance cracker, while this is a bit quieter. Not my favorite from the album, but definitely solid. It might just grow on me. Rating: 7 out of 10.

Why would a goddess be looking for an angel? I guess even the goddess of love gets lonely sometimes, as the ethereal "Looking for an Angel" would suggest. It's very romantic and teary-eyed (and, as Popjustice would say, worthy of a Kylie moment), but it sounds as if "All The Lovers" was re-done by the God's pop producers. Nothing against God's pop producers or anything, it's just another that just doesn't have the huge wallop of the other songs on the album for me. Rating: 7 out of 10.

So, we've cried, we've laughed, we've gotten a bit of an attitude, and we've danced our butts off. How does Kylie finish off this album? With more happy dancing, duh! "Can't Beat The Feeling"** is the purest, happiest moment on the entire album, and again, follows that euphoric theme to the letter. While I have listened to the album back to back three times and haven't (yet), I wouldn't blame someone if they got a bit emotional during this song, especially going into the middle eight. Honestly, it's like a cathartic release, which is just what Kylie intended. Rating: 9.5 out of 10

ALBUM RATING: 9 OUT OF 10

FINAL THOUGHTS
All she wants us to do is dance, and she succeeded. Kylie Minogue has delivered the most fantastic pop album of the year so far. It is also the best album Kylie has released in years, probably since Fever. The listening experience of this album can only be described as euphoric, joyful, and riddled with boundless energy. There is never a dull moment on this album, and even if there is a slight lull, it is quickly correct with an absolute smash. I'm sincerely hoping that Astralwerks (her label in America) promotes the hell out of this album, because this could be her ticket to the pop glory that has unfairly eluded her in the States. As for the rest of the world, you really should expect nothing less from the Goddess of Pop (hey, I'm just going by the title).

Aphrodite is released in most of Europe on July 5th and the United States on July 6th. BUY THIS ALBUM (I am, the deluxe edition)!