5. Jonas Brothers - It seemed like the Jonas Brothers were everywhere last year, and that may have been their undoing. 2009 proved that a third album in three years, a television show and Taylor Swift was just too much to take from the boys from Jersey. The group released Lines, Vines, and Trying Times this year and it barely passed half a million. Their show JONAS fell to popular Nickelodeon shot iCarly, and Joe Jonas' reputation was shot to hell by a little ditty from the best-selling living artist of the year. Now, Nick is going solo, Kevin is getting married, and Joe is licking the deep wounds caused by her guitar. Maybe the JoBros aren't "forever and always" after all.
4. Mariah Carey - The diva of pop divas had the worst year of her career since 2001 (one word: Glitter). First, her single "Obsessed" underperforms, even with the Eminem-mocking music video. Then, Eminem brutally responded with "The Warning", which dropped enough bombs about their "relationship" to clear the rainforest. Then, after two album pushbacks, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel came in at #3 behind Paramore and Barbara Streisand. The sad part is how many Mariah fans laughed at Whitney's opening sales. Ermmm...
3. 50 Cent - You know your rap career is over when you can't outsell the man you've been dogging out all year. Yes, 50 Cent's album Before I Self Destruct sold 114,000 copies in its first week, way below rap rival Rick Ross' album. Note that, two years ago, his Curtis LP sold 650,000 copies in a battle with Kanye West. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
2. The CW - Even with the cultural touchstone Gossip Girl as its crown jewel, television network The CW was a complete fail this year. 90s reboot Melrose Place proved to be a massive disappointment, and the anticipated Mischa Barton vehicle The Beautiful Life was canceled after two episodes. Even GG has seen a ratings slip. The WB is starting to not look so bad.
1. Jon Gosselin - He had a popular television show, a loving family, and presumably millions of dollars. Then, in the course of few months, sent to hell in a handbasket by being an adulterous, Ed Hardy-promoting, Michael Lohan-befriending douchebag. Absolutely fail.
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