Some Notes About... Lady Gaga and Beyonce's "Telephone"

Gaga and Beyonce as murderesses in the 9-minute long "Telephone"

Three months after its announcement as the official second single of the pop epic "The Fame Monster", the highly-anticipated video for Lady Gaga and Beyonce's "Telephone" was released in a double world premiere on E! and VEVO. After three days of salivating over this "true pop event" (as Gaga called it), here are some important things to take away...

1. Comparing it to "Bad Romance" is both pointless and inaccurate
People across the Internet have been using "Bad Romance" as an excuse to blast "Telephone" as a failure. The only problem with this logic is that there are two very different videos. "Bad Romance" was a serious, dramatic, layered video (I mean, Russian sex trafficking?). "Telephone" is clearly a parody of both pop culture and the old western films. Gaga and Bey are having a laugh; you should be too.

1b. That being said...
This video, as enjoyable as it is (take away sleep, I have watched this video non-stop, in virtually setting possible at Trinity College), is not better than "Bad Romance". To be honest, I'm not sure Gaga will be able to top that one anytime soon, and that's not a bad thing. 

2. Gaga loves her product placement
If you thought "Bad Romance" had too much, you'll be shell-shocked by "Telephone". Everything from Diet Coke to Miracle Whip featured a cameo in this video. While it could borderline on irritating, Gaga's use of them all is inventive and hilarious. If I'm being honest, I preferred those cameos to Tyrese Gibson's.

3. Beyonce has been revitalized through this video
Yes, Beyonce is untouchable in many areas of popular music. But thank the Gods for Gaga, because she unveiled as a side of the diva we haven't really seen before: her wacky side. Assuming it was a one-off, Beyonce let loose and clearly had fun with the crazy costumes, dramatic makeup, and the careless murder of harmless diners. It was a joy to watch.

4. "Telephone" is 100 times better than "Video Phone"
Let me take it a step further: Gaga should direct all of Beyonce's videos from now on.

5. The video was smidgen too long
While I nearly died at the prospect of a 10 minute long music video from a post-"Bad Romance" Gaga, the actuality was a bit tiring. I'm sure I'll love the eventual TV edit a lot more (with less prison scenes in particular).

6. The sequel to this video is "Alejandro"
Why? "To be continued"  and it has been confirmed. Here's to hoping for another Gagonce collaboration soon (as in not another freakin' four months).

7. The Gaga/Beyonce diner dance sequence is the best dance sequence I have seen in years
Where else would you see these two pop titans dancing amongst dead people? Epic.

8. Alongside "Bad Romance", Gaga has revived the art of music videos
Sometime after Madonna went British and Michael donned devil ears calling Tommy Mottola evil, the thought disappeared from music videos. Most of them just featured a cheap setting with some pretty good dancing. Thanks to Lady Gaga's headline-grabbing, partially banned music videos, there is a legitimate interest in music videos again. So note to other pop stars: step your game up.

9. "Telephone" is currently, and will continue to be, the best music video of the year
Unless Gaga pulls some next level stuff with "Alejandro" (and hopefully "Dance in the Dark")

10. GAGA AND BEYONCE ATE FROM THE SAME HONEY BUN!!!

Am I the only one totally freaking out/loving this? I mean, it's the closest thing we'll ever get to a Beyonce/Gaga makeout session (unless Gaga pulls some next level stuff on "Alejandro")