The 81st Academy Awards: The Live-Blog

Just like I did for the Grammys a few weeks ago, I will be live-blogging the Oscars!

Starting at 8 PM EST, I will be covering everything from the winners, the losers, the special secret presenters, the clothes, Hugh Jackman's anticipated MC duties, and everything else in between.

Don't forget to press F5 every few minutes to see what's going on!

7:57 PM - Hugh Jackman just gave Barbara Walters a lap dance. Is this what we should expect at the Oscars?

8:27 PM - About to begin....

8:30 PM - And it begins...(please don't go overtime lol)

8:31 PM - First note of the night: the stage looks spectacular.  


8:32 PM - The first non-comic host, Hugh Jackman, doing pretty good

8:33 PM - I cannot believe what the hell I'm watching. (Love Kate Winslet's face).
So much for the recession, huh? Actually looking at the Batbike, I take that back lol

8:35 PM - Jackman/Hathaway duet = the most amazingly random thing I have ever seen on an Oscar broadcast.

8:37 PM - What the hell does people in metallic outfits have to do with The Reader?
Love how much fun Hugh Jackman is having on stage...

8:38 PM - This is the best opening number I have ever seen on an Oscar telecast! Who needs comedians?

8:40 PM - LMAO at Mickey Rourke's filling gleaming in the light
Brangelina joke....meh...

8:41 pm - Oooooo....Steroid joke with Meryl Streep...funny!
Like the previous Oscar winner montage

8:42 PM - And the first surprise guests are... previous winners!

8:43 PM - All of the words are nice, but its a bit long-winded, to be honest (seeing Viola Davis almost cry was nice). Love Whoopi-Sister Act reference!

So...this is a tribute to the new winners....they couldn't cut to a minute?

8:49 pm - And the winner is... Penelope Cruz!?! First upset of the night! Congrats to Penelope (so, two of Tom Cruise's exes have won Oscars after he dumped them, and he hasn't won period. Hmm....)

8:53 pm - OK, this is kinda stupid, although the pairing of Tina Fey and Steve Martin is ace.

8:54 pm - How could they make a Scientology joke, and not have Tom Cruise in the audience???? That's not fair! And the award for Best Original Screenplay goes to ....Milk

8:58 pm - Wonderful speech from Milk's screenwriter, and first Prop 8 mention of the night.

8:59 pm - Steve Martin and Tina Fey are so funny...the award for Best Adapted Screenplay goes to... Slumdog Millionaire!

9:03 pm - Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black....please cut to Brangelina.....and Jack Black made a Pixar joke (sorry Disney, lol)

9:04 pm - WALL-E FINDS AN OSCAR...and the 2008 Yearbook for animated films (recession my butt!)

9:06 pm - That was really cute...and the Oscar goes to Wall-E for Best Animated Feature!

9:08 pm - Brangelina! And they're smiling (even Angelina! No death stares for Aniston tonight, huh?) And the award for Best Short Animated Film goes to....La Maison En Petits Cubes

9:10 pm - Did he just say "Domo Origato, Mr. Roboto"???


9:15 pm - Can we get some more of the song and dance, please?

Sarah Jessica looks amazing, the set behind her...not so much...

And the winner for Best Art Direction goes to...The Curious Case of Benjamin Button! (Why do I feel like The Dark Knight is getting snubbed, save for Heath Ledger?)

And the winner for Best Costume Design goes to...The Duchess!

This is a seriously boring segment...And the award for Best Makeup goes to....The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. No surprise there.

Somewhere, millions of Twilight fans have gone completely apeshit over Robert Pattinson.

The Romance of 2008, featuring too many Twilight and High School Musical references. Way too many! Love Wall-E though!

9:31 pm - I REALLY do not care how the movies are made, Hugh Jackman!

Ben Stiller impersonating Joaquin Phoenix is INSANELY hilarious!! If he raps, I will lose it!

And the award for Best Cinematography goes to...Slumdog Millionaire!

9:40 pm - Am I the only one thinking, "Why is Jessica Biel here? With an ugly dress to boot?" 

9:42 pm - Pineapple Express review the best of comedy...considering how stoned they are, I'm surprised they even knew what the Oscars were.

Seriously, what the hell am I watching right now?

Dear God, they want to make an Oscar into a bong? (Michael Phelps, stay away!!)

And the award for Best Short Film goes to...Speilzugland (Toyland)

9:52 pm - According to Hugh Jackman, the true change coming in the world is Mammia Mia! and its gross in the UK...ok....

Song and dance number!!


BEYONCE!!!!! IN RED!!!!

Beyonce and Hugh Jackman doing Sandy and Danny from Grease....this is really fun.

9:55 pm - Jay-Z must be steaming right now! 

Are you serious!!!! How the hell do they have High School Musical here?? It's the Oscars!!

So that's why Hugh Jackman brought up Mamma Mia!

That was the most ridiculous thing the Oscars have ever been put together. It was also the most interesting thing of the night. Go figure.

10:01 pm - Time for Best Supporting Actor, which WILL go to Heath Ledger.

And the past winners/presenters are... Christopher Walken, Kevin Kline, Cuba Gooding Jr. Alan Arkin, and Joel Gray.

Again, although nice, the past winner/presenter tributes to the present nominees are kind of unnecessary and frivolous.

Cuba Gooding Jr., the only black presenter up there, talking about RBJ's blackface? Stroke of genius or slightly racist dig? Still funny.

And the winner is... Heath Ledger!!! Going to accept the award his father, his mother, and his sister. Prepare your Kleenex, folks.

Even Brad Pitt's tearing up. So is Angelina. So is everybody.

Congrats to Heath Ledger...may you continue to rest in peace.

10:11 pm - Doc montage...time for a snack...

Bill Maher presenting Best Documentary Feature...why wasn't Religilous nominated for an Oscar?

The winner is...  Man On Wire

Magic tricks on the Oscars? That's new. Balancing an Oscar on your chin? That's newer, and stupid.

And the winner for Best Short Documentary Feature is... Smile Pinki

The best in Action...lots of The Dark Knight clips...is this to make up for the Best Picture snub?


Speaking of snubbed, here is Will Smith!

And Curious Case of Benjamin Button wins Best Visual Effects.

Best Sound Editing goes to...The Dark Knight! (Seriously, how do you vote for these awards???)

Now for Sound Mixing.... (can't they give these awards away during a pre-show or something, a la the Grammys?) which goes to Slumdog Millionaire!

One more award in this painfully moring segment (thank God)...for Film Editing, which goes to...Slumdog Millionaire. Question: since the film received 10 nominations, why the hell are the people all the way in the back?

10:41 pm - The Jean Hersholt Award, presented by Eddie Murphy, given to Jerry Lewis (in case you don't know who he is, he is the host of theose Labor Day telethons). Another random cut to Sophia Loren (in case you don't know who she is, she's an Italian actress).

10:45 pm - His looks and speaks well for someone who's 82 years old!

10:50 pm - Time for the Oscar music, without Hugh Jackman unfortunately. I didn't know that even the Orchestra director is a nominee!

The Slumdog score is spectacular, love the Western/Eastern fusion.

10:53 pm - Alicia Keys and Zac Efron. You decide who shouldn't be there. (Hint: Alicia looks stunning).

And Best Original Score goes to Slumdog!

And Best Original Song nominees (which is oddly sparse this year) perform. Two from Slumdog and one from Wall-E

I'm loving the first Slumdog song.

So that's why John Legend was there, he's singing the Wall-E song, I think.

Here's the second Slumdog song. I thought M.I.A. was supposed to be performing. Nice ending with the songs together.

And the winner is... "Jai Ho" from Slumdog!

11:05 pm - Time for Foreign Language Film, which goes to Departures from Japan. Congrats, but it would be nice if he would stop shouting.

11:10 pm - Queen Latifah presents the Memoriam, while singing "I'll Be Seeing You" beautifully.

10:18 pm - YAY, no Academy President speech!

Reese makes a funny, lol. Her dress doesn't. It's kind of randim-looking. Anyway, she's presenting Best Director, and it goes to... Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire! He channels Tigger upon winning, for his kids. Awww. Gotta love truly excited winners.

11:24 pm - Time for Best Actress! And the past winner/presenters are...Sophia Loren (so that's why she's there), Shirley Macclaine, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, and Marion Cotilliard.

Please Academy, give Kate Winslet the freakin' Oscar this time!

Honestly, I feel like the added this segment just to make the nominees cry (see Viola, Ann, and Kate).

Sophia, Sophia, Sophia, Sophia, there's too much to say, so I won't say anything.

And the winner is... KATE WINSLET!!!!

Time for the best speech of the night....

Seriously, who the hell doesn't love Kate Winslet at this point?

I love it when she mentions other actresses (smartly, she doesn't try and list their names)

11:36 pm - Now for Best Actor...

And the past winner/presenters are... Robert DeNiro, Ben Kingsley, Anthony Hopkins, Adrien Brody, Michael Douglas!

Robert DeNiro: "How did Sean Penn get all of those roles as straight men?" Line of the night. That plus his "gently reasons with the paparazzi" quip equals brilliance.

Mickey Rourke and Robert Pattinson in the same shot? Foreshadowing, maybe?

And the winner is... Sean Penn! (does anyone think that Mickey was robbed?)

"You Commie homo-loving sons of guns" - Senn Penn. Second best line of the night.

Penn bashes Prop 8 supporters and honors Mickey Rourke. Second best speech of the night. Love ya Kate.

11:47 pm - Best Picture time! Actually, time for a montage.

Loving the mixing of past and present, and the past is relevant to the current films.

And the winner is...Slumdog Millionaire! (I knew that Benjamin Button's 13 nods were crap, no offense Brad Pitt)

Raise your hand if you're going to see Slumdog at some point in the coming week.

Well, its over/ There were some shocks, some guarantees, and lots of love for Slumdog.

Good night, everybody!