Michael Jackson, One Year Later

It's still hard to comprehend.

One year ago today, fresh off the sad news of iconic 70's actress Farrah Fawcett's passing from cancer, the world was dealt a bigger blow with news of the demise of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop.

I was sitting in my mom's car when I found out by email. I actually screamed at the wording "Michael Jackson Passes Away". It didn't seem possible at all, that a man on the verge of the biggest comeback in music history could just be gone. I prayed it wasn't true, that it was some cruel joke. But as I got home and turned the television on to MSNBC, then CNN, then ABC, and every other news channel that was covering the chaos in front of the UCLA Medical Center, it became startlingly clear.

Michael Jackson was gone.

I was a fan of Michael Jackson before I even knew who he was. I can remember being at a friend's party back in the late 90's and seeing the cover of Jackson's 1995 album HIStory. I didn't know he was at the time, but I knew he was important.

I truly gained an appreciation for him after my mom got us tickets for the 30th Anniversary Tribute at Madison Square Garden. Another young memory: me and mom squabbling over the $800 price of the tickets. In preparation, I bought every Michael Jackson album my mother didn't already own (except Blood on the Dance Floor). I listened to them almost every day, and I was mesmerized at how amazing his music was. But anyone who knows Michael knows that his music was only part of the package. When I watched him on stage at MSG, performing his greatest hits to a packed house of screaming fans, my mother and I included, I knew this man was the greatest performer I would ever know.

I stood by Michael ever since that concert, which would precede the devastating September 11th attacks on the World Trade Center. I credited Michael for saving my life; my mother would have most likely been caught in that disaster on her way to work. Instead, we both played hooky, just to watch the disaster unfold on television. I wouldn't say that I felt like I owed Michael, but I believed that he was worth my support. Even after the baby-dangling, that damning Martin Bashir interview, and the second round of child abuse allegations, I believed in him.

When Michael announced his concerts in London, I quickly went online to look up airline tickets. Me, a 17-year old senior in high school, wanting to drop at least $2,000 to see a 50-year old man perform under insurmountable pressures and expectations. Of course, I didn't buy those tickets, but I was hopeful that someone would sneak into the O2 Arena with a video camera (preferably HD) so I could watch in awe on YouTube.

It never got that far, unfortunately.

One year later, I'm sitting on my bed, listening to Michael Jackson's song "HIStory" as I type out this retrospective of Michael's importance in my life. There is no question that Michael was a complicated individual. Many adjectives can be used to describe him, some of which I'd rather not think about. Yet, there is no doubt for 41 years, since he wowed the world as a kid leading the Jackson 5, Michael commanded the conscious of popular culture. No matter which way he affected people, he affected them in such a way that it was impossible to imagine him gone.

Which may be why, 365 days after that shocking news hit the wires, it is still hard to comprehend the King of Pop is gone.

Then again, thanks to his indelible presence in the world, maybe he isn't gone after all. He sang in "HIStory" about the importance of making sure every day you live leaves a mark.

His will continue to live on.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.