I Love Money: TV Review

Last night, VH1 rose to new heights of tackiness with the premiere of I Love Money, a game show starring previous contestants of I Love New York, Flavor of Love and Rock of Love. The craziest contestants from the 6 seasons are competing to win $250,000 by participating in various mental and physical challenges, all based off of the most memorable moments from the shows.

I have watched 5 seasons of three shows (I didn't watch the 1st season of Rock of Love), so I was pretty familiar with the cast. It wasn't surprising that none of them have changed, except that most of them have developed this false sense of celebrity. I've gotta give it to the casting directors, because this is the craziest group of people to ever live in a house together, or be forced to be put on unisex bikinis.

Speaking of the bikinis, every member of the cast had to put on the "uniform" in order to compete in the challenge, which was to get the most money flying around in a telephone box thing. Midget Mac, the memorable little person from I Love New York 2 was the only person not to wear it. The issue launched the first big fight of the season, with Midget Mac going toe-to-toe (no pun intended) against Hoopz, the kick-ass winner of Flavor of Love. Things got really nasty when he called her a ho, and Hoopz threatened to drown him in the pool. Seriously, even Chance from ILNY wore the bikini, so it wasn't that big of a deal. He was just being a spoilsport.

The night had me seriously busting my gut with laughter. Between dreams of helping mentally challenged dogs and shocking revelations of premature ejaculations, there was barely a minute I didn't stop laughing. Mr. Boston, from ILNY, provided the most unintentional laughs. After Pumkin (still a whore) told everyone that he, erm, released early when they kissed, Mr. Boston revealed to the audience that he stuffed his speedo because he wasn't very endowed. He unfortunately had to pull the stuffing out in front of everyone to make room for the money he was gonna stuff down there. When he was taking the money out, he accidentally flashed the cast. Any cool that Mr. Boston built up on his previous show has effectively been destroyed.

So far, the show is looking as expected; crass, tacky, slutty, and overly ridiculous, much like its predecessors and contestants. While there are some I am rooting for, none of them honestly deserve it. The fact that they are willing to humiliate themselves, again, is just proof of that.

If you are looking to laugh at people and making yourself feel better, this show is for you.

If you are looking for a stimulating program, turn around.

In fact, just leave VH1 alone.